I came across this Tumblr, Suri’s Burn Book, earlier this week. Basically, it’s a satirical blog written from the perspective of Suri Cruise in which she provides commentary on celebrities’ (particularly celebrity’s children) fashion and ability to handle fame. I spent a whole evening reading through it and I could not stop laughing. I’m sure some people would say it’s not right to make fun of children’s clothes or imitiate Suri Cruise in such a manner, to which I would say to those people it’s clearly all in good fun and when you come to my house you can just ignore the book on the coffee table.
You really should take a look at the Tumblr, since photos are always included and add to the commentary, oftentimes being the sole focus and not just accompaniment. Here are some stand-alone quotes that cracked me up:
“Either get your things monogrammed or just expect that people know who you are.”
“Amy Poehler’s ginger baby is not amused. He is, however, still extremely ginger.”
“It’s not cute, it’s not clever, and it’s not symmetrical, which are three of my highest priorities for haircuts and for life in general.”
“I feel like her eyes are silently asking for help. Perhaps she’s just realized that her name is Maxwell, and Jessica Simpson is responsible for her.”
“Even I know better than to pretentiously tweet about my bad days, even though I assure you I have them. Just yesterday, my chef tried to serve me pancakes instead of waffles, and it threw me off for the rest of the morning.”
“Blue Ivy Carter showed up in Paris yesterday without shoes on. Going barefoot in Paris is like showing up to the Oscars in a denim miniskirt. A frayed one.”
“All I would want to discuss with the President is equal pay for equal work, and the ridiculously high tariffs on French cheeses.”
Mine was interesting! Wednesday night I arrived at my cousin’s house. Starting on Thursday and ending Monday (with a brief break in between while a family friend relieved me), I watched her three sons and dog while her and her husband went on a well-deserved vacation (that’s their dog pictured below excitedly awaiting the boys’ return from school). While I of course had fun, it was definitely a learning experience. Here’s what I discovered while hanging with three boys ranging from kindergarten to fourth grade:
Catch is the best game ever. Inside, outside, basketball, bouncy ball, tennis ball – anything!
If you aren’t playing catch, then you should be playing basketball with the mini hoop in the basement, kickball in the driveway, or touch football on the lawn while mocking your 22-year-old babysitter for not understanding all the terms you are using.
Macaroni and cheese is the best dinner option, while oatmeal with dinosaur eggs is the best breakfast choice.
Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 is an optimal movie selection.
When you go to McDonald’s and ask a six-year-old what he wants, and he says a cheeseburger, you should ask what he wants on the cheeseburger. Otherwise McDonald’s will put cheese, onions, pickles, and ketchup on it, and while you are driving home you will keep hearing exclamations from the backseat as each unwanted addition is discovered (good news though: the dog likes any sort of cheeseburger).
If you spend Friday night all piled into the biggest bed watching baseball together, all three boys will fall asleep and you will be left to find a new bed in which to sleep.
Also, if you attempt to cuddle with a 100+ pound white German shepherd the same way you cuddle with a 40 pound beagle-mix, you might just end up with a bloody nose at 1AM. This will also scare the dog, who will run away and sleep under the bed the three boys took over and you will be completely left on your lonesome.
You become much more patient and sociable in the morning once you have had some coffee (all right, so I already knew that, but it was adamantly confirmed).
Adele’s music is the perfect thing to sing along to on car rides.
You should have way more than 11 games on your iPhone.
Have you heard Avery’s story? If you only click on one link in this post, click on this one. What a heartbreaking, but meaningful and inspirational story. I hope to find ways to support this cause and that others do the same!
8 tricks for common hair styling issues that we non-film stars face.
Baseball season is upon us! In addition to watching some games, check out Glamour and Cosmopolitan‘s round-up of MLB’s best-looking men (I would have added some more Indians players – Brantley and Kipnis, perhaps?).